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McKinney Counseling & Recovery

Sex Addiction

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
Samuel Johnson

Can Sex Really be an Addiction?

Like any other behavior, sexual thoughts or behavior can become addictive if they significantly interfere with your normal life. Pornography and sex addiction are similar to gambling addiction in that they are all behavior and brain based addictions, also referred to as process addictions. Process addictions involve powerful reinforcement from chemicals in the brain. The addiction cycle for sex involves preoccupation, ritualization and compulsivity, often with euphoria. However, the high is typically followed by shame and despair, which the addict escapes by a return to the preoccupation. This cycle repeats itself over and over until life becomes unmanageable.

 

Sex Addiction Cycle Graphic

 

Sexually addictive behavior can include a wide range of behaviors, including but not limited to:

  • Compulsive masturbation
  • Chronic pornography
  • Phone or internet sex
  • Erotic chat or sexually charged fantasies, relationships, and situations
  • Objectification of sexual partners, rituals associated with sex
  • Multiple affairs or one-night stands
  • Sexual massage, strip clubs, escorts, prostitutes
  • Creating sexually explicit photos or videos
  • Sex clubs, partner swapping, trading sex for money or services
  • Cross dressing
  • Voyeurism
  • Exhibitionism
  • Cruising, anonymous sex
  • Pain exchange sex


 

How Do I Know If I Am a Sex Addict?

A sign that you may have already crossed the line into addiction is if you are continuing with sexual behavior despite knowing that there will be negative consequences — or there would be if others learned of your secret behavior. Secret is a key word here. If you have secrets around your sexual behavior, secrets you would be ashamed of if they were discovered by your partner, family, boss, church, or friends, then the possibility of an addiction is worth exploring.
 

Do you lie to protect your secrets? Do you get a rush when getting ready to sexually act out, even though you may feel shame afterward? If important people in your life knew about your sexual behavior, would they think you are preoccupied? If they heard the excuses you tell yourself (it’s not hurting anyone, no one ever has to know, I deserve this, just one more time…), would they agree? Do you find yourself spending more and more time thinking about, engaging in, or recovering from your sexual behavior?
 

If any of those questions make you uncomfortable, I would suggest you take time to learn more about pornography and sex addiction. The bottom line is that if you continue to engage in sexual behaviors that could result in negative relationship, legal, career, emotional, or physical consequences, then you have a problem.
 

You can take a brief, free online quiz to help determine if you have a problem with pornography or sex addiction at www.sexhelp.com. However, be aware that since these quizzes are screening tests only, a definitive diagnosis cannot be determined based on this alone.

If you would like a more thorough evaluation, contact me to schedule a Sexual Dependency Inventory assessment.
 


female sex adddiction

Is This Just a Man’s Problem? Can Women Be Sex Addicts Too?

Not only can a woman be a sex addict, it is much more common than most people realize. Studies suggest that females make up approximately one third of those admitting to pornography or sex addiction. This number, however, may be on the rise as recent studies indicate that 40% of those struggling with online sexually compulsive behaviors are female. If we add in women who might more accurately be considered love addicts — that is they are willing to exchange sex for the illusion of love and romance — those numbers would be significantly higher.
 

There are many similarities between women and men in their experience of sexual addiction, for example, using sex to get high, numb out, or escape painful emotions. However, there are also important differences. Women are less likely to engage in solitary sexual behaviors and much more likely to engage in behaviors that are relationship driven, even if that ‘relationship’ is just a fantasy. Chat rooms are the female addict’s preferred mode. And women are more likely to progress from online to real life sexual encounters than male addicts. In fact, in a study of cybersex users, 80% of females acknowledged this pattern.
 

Like male addicts, females often combine or alternate sexually compulsive behaviors with other addictive substances or behaviors. Struggles with binge eating, compulsive overeating and body image issues, however, are more common for women. The risk for sexually transmitted diseases also differs for women. Since STDs can be asymptomatic in women, they may go undetected for longer periods of time. The most common STD in women is human papillomavirus or HPV, which increases the risk for developing cervical cancer.
 

Perhaps the greatest difference between male and female sex addicts is that females face more obstacles to treatment than their male counterparts. The myth that only men are sex addicts adds an additional layer of shame that women must overcome to seek treatment. My personal belief is that professionals are also affected by this myth and often miss the signs of sex addiction in their female clients. Furthermore, most faith-based and Twelve-Step groups for pornography and sex addiction are predominantly male, and some are closed to women.
 

You can take a brief, free online quiz to help determine if you have a problem with sex addiction at www.sexhelp.com. However, be aware that since these quizzes are screening tests only, a definitive diagnosis cannot be determined based on any of these tests alone.
 

If you would like a more thorough evaluation, contact me to schedule a Sexual Dependency Inventory assessment.
 

You can contact me discreetly by e-mail for more information about therapy for female sex addiction, or to obtain information about the studies referred to above.
 

hope

Is There Hope? Can I Recover From Sexual Addiction?

The good news is that we now know more about recovery from pornography and sex addiction than ever before. If you are willing to make the commitment to make recovery a priority and are willing to work with a therapist specifically trained in treating pornography and sex addiction in addressing both the unhealthy behaviors and the deeper underlying issues, you can reclaim your life. In fact, research indicates that individuals who complete a task-oriented therapeutic approach to addressing pornography and sex addiction combined with Twelve Step participation have a high rate of success in recovering.
 

What Is the Task-Oriented Approach?

This is a form of treating pornography and sex addiction that was developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, the foremost authority on the identification and treatment of sexual addiction. It involves completing a set of tasks across 30 different recovery domains. The tasks build on each other and are designed to first help you change your behavior and then change your life.
 

30 Tasks of Recovery
Tasks 1—7

1. Break through denial

2. Understand addiction

3. Surrender

4. Limit damage

5. Establish sobriety

6. Physical integrity

7. Culture of support
 

Facing the Shadow
Recovery Start Kit


 

Tasks 8—19

8. Multiple addictions

9. Cycles of abuse

10. Reduce shame

11. Grieve losses

12. Closure to shame

13. Relationship with self

14. Financial viability

15. Meaningful work

16. Lifestyle balance

17. Building support

18. Exercise and nutrition

19. Spiritual life
 

Recovery Zone: Creating Personal Recovery

 

Tasks 19—30

19. Spiritual life

20. Resolve conflicts

21. Restore healthy sexuality

22. Family therapy

23. Family relationships

24. Recovery commitment

25. Issues with children

26. Extended family

27. Differentiation

28. Primary relationship

29. Coupleship

30. Primary intimacy
 

Recovery Zone II: Creating Family Recovery


Do You Use a Task-Oriented Approach in Treating Pornography and Sex Addiction?

Yes! I have been trained by Dr. Carnes and am certified in using his approach in recovery from pornography and sexual addiction.

You can contact me discretely by e-mail for more information about the task oriented approach for treating sex addiction.

 



McKinney, TX Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
About Janice | Sex Addiction | Partners of Sex Addicts | Relationship Problems & Marriage Counseling
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Dr. Janice Caudill
Certified Clinical Partner Specialist
Licensed Psychologist
Certified Sex Addiction Therapist & Supervisor
Partner Recovery Therapist
Sexual Recovery Therapist
Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (& Supervisor)
Certified Multiple Addictions Therapist


250 Adriatic Parkway, Suite 105
McKinney, Texas 75070
DrJaniceCaudill@live.com
972-540-9996


















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