The friends and family who knew the truth but never told us may look to us like accomplices in our betrayal. If they cared about us at all, how could they leave us in the dark? Surely they owed it to us to tell.
Being the last to know is humiliating and infuriating.
Today our challenge is to understand that friends and family who do not tell are making the best decision they can in a very difficult situation. They are caught in the middle. They are betraying someone they care about, risking somebody’s anger, no matter what they do. We can’t count on friends or family members to have a clear picture of our inner lives, thus making such a decision simple and straightforward.
Today we are also beginning to understand that we may have thought we were ready for the truth before it came to us. But rarely is that so. Most of us see the truth as soon as our hearts and spirits are prepared for the struggle ahead. The signs are there. We will read them when we are ready. Others do us no favors by forcing us to look at something we aren’t yet ready to face.
We will work to let go of our anger at those who knew but didn’t tell. We will understand that their silence was the best decision they could make. And it may have been the best decision for us as well.
Today I will try to see that my friends and family have not wronged me. I don’t need to extend my anger to include them.
From Surviving Betrayal: Hope and Help for Women Whose Partners Have Been Unfaithful * 365 Daily Meditations by Alice May
Dr Janice Caudill is the founder and Clinical Director of McKinney Counseling & Recovery. MCR offers individual, marriage counseling, group therapy and 3-day intensives, marriage workshops for partners of sex addicts and wounded hearts struggling with sex addiction, infidelity, love addiction or llove avoidance, intimacy anorexia, or relational trauma in the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Richardson, Frisco, Prosper, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and surrounding areas.