Category Archives: Surviving Infidelity

infidelity, cheating, affair

Surviving Betrayal: Boundaries, Not Ultimatums

When we first hear about setting boundaries regarding the behavior of another person, it is often hard to see how that differs from the same old ultimatum that got us nowhere in the past. You do this or else. If … Continue reading

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Betrayal Trauma: Understanding Your Trauma Triggers

Trauma triggers are anything that serve as a reminder of painful events in your life. They can be people, places, things, or situations. Thoughts, feelings, and sensations may also be connected to trauma memories. It is important to begin to … Continue reading

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Sex Addiction Recovery: Understanding Discovery

“Discovery” is a term that has come to mean the event or period of time in which a sex addiction is discovered by a partner or spouse. Partners of sex addicts describe discovery as an intensely traumatic experience that hits … Continue reading

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Surviving Betrayal: Relief from the Pain

How long will it hurt? What most of us want more than anything is for the pain to stop. And we want it to stop now. But we eventually learn there is nothing healthy we can do to make the … Continue reading

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Surviving Betrayal: The Last To Know

The friends and family who knew the truth but never told us may look to us like accomplices in our betrayal. If they cared about us at all, how could they leave us in the dark? Surely they owed it … Continue reading

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Surviving Betrayal: Emotional Numbness

  Most of us experience some degree of emotional numbness as the truth about our partner unfolds. For most of us, this numbness is tempo­rary and protective. We will feel more as it is safer for us. For others, the … Continue reading

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Starved for Love: Intimacy Deprivation in Sex and Porn Addiction

One of the least discussed but most painful experiences for partners of sex or porn addicts is the deep level of intimacy deprivation that many endure both before, during, and after their spouse’s recovery. The love-starved often come to exist … Continue reading

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Surviving Betrayal: Surrender Your Loss

   When we first learn that we’ve been betrayed by someone we love and trust, that event takes on such magnitude that it leaves room for lit­tle else in our hearts. It becomes the sun around which everything in our … Continue reading

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Surviving Betrayal: Willingness

Are you willing to change? Are you willing to ask for help? Are you willing to do things differently just because other women tell you that doing things differently helped them heal, gave them their lives back? Are you willing … Continue reading

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Partners of Sex Addicts: Why Do I Have to Recover If It Is His Addiction?

Why do I have to recover if it’s his addiction? This is a question I hear frequently from the partners of sex addicts I counsel. Once the shock of discovering a husband’s sex or porn addiction begins to wane, the … Continue reading

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